he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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