he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Sext me about skeletons
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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