My Higher Power is John Stamos
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
