I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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