Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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