Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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