he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
