you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
