my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
