All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
it wasn't lemon gatorade
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
