She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
