just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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