I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
