No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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