I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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