just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
dude i'm inner monologue high
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
