Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just high enough for therapy.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
