oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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