I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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