it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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