so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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