Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Still dying that you shit outside
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
