did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I want you more than these girls want KFC
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
