if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
