Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
there was a trapeze. enough said
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
