Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
