Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
