K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
