Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
