the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
