I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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