Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
