Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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