i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Randomize
