just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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