Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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