I wannas sexs uuuuu
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
