If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
