whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
