you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
