let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
