He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i out mim tonsoeep
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
