Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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