i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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