At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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