Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
