I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
