Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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