All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
