Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
